fff: Subway, Lambton Square
Subway - one of the less odious fast food franchises as far as I'm concerned, and their food's the same everywhere, right? Or, ... is it? [Key organ chord]
Moseyed in for six inches of glistening pleasure for a late lunch. It's clean, it's tidy, it's fff. So what's the difference?
First, there's some choice in the construction - I had the Italian Salami doo-dah - when I’m gobsmacked for choice I depend on being able to read and interpret the menu - ideally without feeling stressed by the staff wanting me to make a decision ‘like totally now’.
I think all fff establishments are set up the same way - menus up behind the counter, so that you have to look up past the staff. What is with that? The answer is, this allows your jaw to drop, not only at the ridiculous range of food, bizarre complexity of pricing, and hypersharpened, drop dead gorgeous, drop shadow photo with no grease spots; but because the drool in your mouth can now ooze down your throat. This Pavlovian trigger makes you think you’re hungrier than you are and you order up large. And of course, if you’re exceptionally dorky or drooly, the hidden camera captures you on video for use in staff training or better, the end of year xmas knees-up.
But I digress. Back to the issue at hand. Did you know the Subway in Lambton is owned by the nice Caltex people? S’true.
By the way, enquiring minds want to know, does a 6” contain less fat than the equivalent 15cm? Why’s it not in metric? Doubt if you went to Caltex they’d sell you a pint of milk.
Was that a digression? Any way, at the Lambton Subway, today, there was a small glimmer of radical behaviour. The usual deal, as you know is, pick out your label and then add some salady bits. “Y’wanna lettuce, tomato etc etc?” My standard response is, “Yes, please, (my mother brought me up proper) I’d like lots of everything please.”
It’s pathetic, I know, but it’s the salady bits I really want. “Y’wanna pickle, olives, jalapenos?” “Yes, please, I’d like lots of everything please.”
Guess what! In Caltex’s farthest flung corner of their empire, in a tiny Subway, in the far back corner of one of the most jaded shopping precincts of the capital of a tiny island nation in the biggest ocean … the young lass did it! She put in extra olives and jalapeno. Something probably happened next but all I could see was the heavens opening and through the flame teased clouds came a warrior goddess who carried me off towards Valhalla while heavenly hosts …
No, wait, it was just a 6” sub... $4.95 for lunch.
6/10
points off: oil companies selling food - sorry, it’s just wrong. Every Subway has the same pictures. If you died in one, and were resurrected in another you wouldn’t notice you’d moved. The sharp stainless steel panel in front of the checkout - why?
points on: extra olives and jalapeno.
Parking - varies according to time of day, don’t get locked into your Valhalla moment, the parking nazis are particularly ferocious in this neck of the woods.
Subway,
Lambton Square,
Ground Floor. 472 0714
Moseyed in for six inches of glistening pleasure for a late lunch. It's clean, it's tidy, it's fff. So what's the difference?
First, there's some choice in the construction - I had the Italian Salami doo-dah - when I’m gobsmacked for choice I depend on being able to read and interpret the menu - ideally without feeling stressed by the staff wanting me to make a decision ‘like totally now’.
I think all fff establishments are set up the same way - menus up behind the counter, so that you have to look up past the staff. What is with that? The answer is, this allows your jaw to drop, not only at the ridiculous range of food, bizarre complexity of pricing, and hypersharpened, drop dead gorgeous, drop shadow photo with no grease spots; but because the drool in your mouth can now ooze down your throat. This Pavlovian trigger makes you think you’re hungrier than you are and you order up large. And of course, if you’re exceptionally dorky or drooly, the hidden camera captures you on video for use in staff training or better, the end of year xmas knees-up.
But I digress. Back to the issue at hand. Did you know the Subway in Lambton is owned by the nice Caltex people? S’true.
By the way, enquiring minds want to know, does a 6” contain less fat than the equivalent 15cm? Why’s it not in metric? Doubt if you went to Caltex they’d sell you a pint of milk.
Was that a digression? Any way, at the Lambton Subway, today, there was a small glimmer of radical behaviour. The usual deal, as you know is, pick out your label and then add some salady bits. “Y’wanna lettuce, tomato etc etc?” My standard response is, “Yes, please, (my mother brought me up proper) I’d like lots of everything please.”
It’s pathetic, I know, but it’s the salady bits I really want. “Y’wanna pickle, olives, jalapenos?” “Yes, please, I’d like lots of everything please.”
Guess what! In Caltex’s farthest flung corner of their empire, in a tiny Subway, in the far back corner of one of the most jaded shopping precincts of the capital of a tiny island nation in the biggest ocean … the young lass did it! She put in extra olives and jalapeno. Something probably happened next but all I could see was the heavens opening and through the flame teased clouds came a warrior goddess who carried me off towards Valhalla while heavenly hosts …
No, wait, it was just a 6” sub... $4.95 for lunch.
6/10
points off: oil companies selling food - sorry, it’s just wrong. Every Subway has the same pictures. If you died in one, and were resurrected in another you wouldn’t notice you’d moved. The sharp stainless steel panel in front of the checkout - why?
points on: extra olives and jalapeno.
Parking - varies according to time of day, don’t get locked into your Valhalla moment, the parking nazis are particularly ferocious in this neck of the woods.
Subway,
Lambton Square,
Ground Floor. 472 0714
posted by Lynsey | Friday, July 08, 2005
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